Tagged: self improvement

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v38

It’s another district work period for the House so I’m playing catch up and getting ready for BSM. For those new to the blog, “Hi!” and BSM is my mood at the end of the QTR because I’m BUSY. GETTIN’. MONEY.

So let’s get straight to it with Tuesday Truths!

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  • I’m a fundraiser so I spend a lot of time networking for my clients so that I can have a varied group of people who are interested in supporting the work that my clients do in politics and in non-profits. Could I ever learn to love that aspect of my work? The key to networking is better understanding the flow of information and how you can be a resource. You never know who you may meet that will have shared interests with you. It’s an invaluable way to meet influential people who may thank you later on for being helpful to them.

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  • Don’t get sucked into other people’s instagrammable moments and forget to live your life. People are starting to get depressed looking at other people’s lives and thinking that they’re not successful enough. Please don’t measure yourself to others because you’ll set yourself up for failure. It’s totally normal to strive to attain a life that’s similar to someone you admire. Also recognize your accomplishments along the way. You control your level of success and most importantly, its meaning to you. Here are 5 signs when you can tell if you’re successful (even when you don’t think you are!).

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  • I have a lot of people who call me to talk about running for office. I always ask them if they’ve had a chance to talk with people who are not a part of our echo chamber and if they’ve discussed their public policy proposals, let alone listened to voters who identify with another set of beliefs. It’s a lot harder than you think to convince someone that your ideas are better when they already hold onto a set of beliefs. Data doesn’t necessary help your case because facts don’t change people’s minds. Learn how you can give people the scenario to give themselves an out so that they can change their way of thinking.

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  • I’m often asked to speak on panels about politics and being an entrepreneur so I basically figured out my schtick, however to keep things fresh, I always need to see who else is speaking so that I can be aware of their accomplishments and figure out the type of audience the panel is addressing. Although I’ve done public speaking for a long time, I still get butterflies talking in front of people. Instead of allowing those emotions to get the best of me, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I’m not an imposter. You’re more likely to be comfortable when you’re more yourself so think of your time as an opportunity to have a conversation and to connect with your audience. Want more tips? Check it out here!

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  • Did you hear that there’s going to be a new iPhone released in a few weeks/months? I saw some hoopla and what really caught my attention was the Twitter flack people gave to an article about how they covered Apple executive, Angela Ahrendts’ attire when she took to the stage to talk about the launch. Ms. Ahrendts is the former CEO of Burberry and currently heads up the retail division of Apple. She’s also the only woman executive in senior leadership for Apple and is the highest paid woman in tech. I’m all about making sure that women leaders are listened to when they speak about their product lines or their accomplishments. Above all else the subject material is the highlight. How they present themselves only amplifies the narrative. Women in positions of power have used their wardrobe choices for visual affect and although the author of the article may not have a direct line to why exactly Ms. Ahrendts decided to wear what she wore on the day of the launch, there is much speculation to her decision. I do think people who are in positions of authority project an image and adhere to that image to maintain the brand. Its only recently that people have seen a less than polished version of me on social media because if you were to ask people what they think of my fashion choices, most people would say “put together” or “dressed up”. It’s my attempt to be more accessible as I start evolving my brand.

Thanks for reading/sharing and I really appreciate your notes when you let me know that something really resonated. See you next week!

— Madalene

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v37

We’re back to regular programming with a full work week! Hope that you’re finding your rhythm after the summer break. The weather is starting to get cooler and that puts me in a good mood. I’m finding joy in the little things in life because when life keeps coming at you, finding the happiness in the small joys can do a lot to lift your spirits.

Here’s Tuesday Truths!

  • If you’ve been reading the blog, you would know that I’m a big believer in making your own luck. You might feel like you don’t know how to start making change and all it takes are small and consistent steps to get you where you want to go. There are times when I’m a hot mess and when I get to that stage, I re-assess where I’m heading. Do I feel out of sorts because I haven’t written things down? Am I acknowledging that there’s a plan and if not, what am I doing to put together one? This chart can help you get started, however you can choose to ignore some of the fashion related tips (or all of them!) although it may help you if you want to have more focus on your wardrobe along with the rest of your work life.

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  • As a self described ambivert, I know when the introvert and extrovert parts of my personality are out of whack. When I’m at conferences or bigger events, I usually am connecting with people who I already know and get introduced to people who are a part of other people’s networks. During these times, I try to stay engaged and not allow my brain to wander. Finding ways to connect can be challenging and if you treat it in a way that allows you to be authentic, you’ll be able to find people who are working towards similar goals. If you’re looking for ways to prepare yourself for those days when you need to be more “on” then you may find these tips helpful.

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  • Being self aware is critical to being a good manager/leader and it also works towards your brand. You can have internal reflection as well as external awareness to help you take notice of how you view yourself vs how others see you. Taking a temperature from your network can give you a better sense of that internal/external alignment. Doing this can open your eyes to more objectivity and you can do the work, if necessary, to correct any negative behavior.

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  • Studies show that getting enough sleep per night over time can help reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s and you can reap daily benefits of better concentration, enhanced creativity, and good mood vibes (who doesn’t want more of that?!). As I’ve gotten older, I can feel the difference in my performance when I don’t get enough sleep. I feel sluggish and my brain seems to work in the slowest drive possible. Here are do’s and don’ts for a better night’s rest.

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  • I hope you’re taking steps to keep your mental health in tip top shape. I’ve mentioned in the blog that I’m just mentally exhausted which leads me to physical exhaustion because I lost my pick up and go. The energy that I once had no longer exists and I’m slowly digging myself out of the hole so that I can return to a more positive place. If you’re looking for an assist, here are 7 mental health apps that may give you a boost.

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  • The 10 essential ways to plan a successful day was once my life. I have fallen off the wagon HARD and it’s been such a process to get myself into a routine that I actually enjoy. There are obstacles and challenges that continue to mentally block me from getting to a better place and I’ve given myself the space to say that I will return to a routine when I’m up to it. When I was in a good rhythm these things were important for me to get organized and to feel a sense of accomplishment when I ended my day. What works for you?

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  • Everyone knows that I’m all for creating opportunities for diversity and women, especially from communities of color. It doesn’t matter the industry, women are lacking in senior level positions throughout and when you talk about winemakers in the Champagne region of France, you’re talking about a handful of women when there are close to 5,000 winemakers total. Lindsey Tramuta recently wrote an article for Food & Wine on The Women Working to Bring Diversity to Champagne and it’s an interesting read, not only for the history but also for what women winemakers are doing to improve the situation. So the next time you have some French bubbles, think about whose making it!

Thanks for reading/sharing – see you next Tuesday!

— Madalene

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v36

It’s back to school and back to having Congress in session (at least for the next 2 weeks until they go back to a district work period!). I’ve got my call sheets and a new pack of sharpies and pens and highlighters and notebooks and and and….can you tell that I’m a little excited about the back to work part? In all honesty, I enjoyed the last few weeks of cooler temperatures and the change of scenery. I was always the kid that enjoyed the days leading up to back to school (all of the frenzy to get my new backpack and school supplies) and later when I was in college, I was an Orientation Leader who helped the Freshmen get acclimated to Tulane. It feels like a new day so whenever “back to school” starts, we can readjust any previous attitudes to a more positive one. Who needs January 1st to have resolutions when you have the ability to revamp your goals and ideas of what you want to do in life just as the seasons change. Evolution is constant so take advantage of the time to add or subtract your goals and most importantly, take stock of who you want to be.

Here’s Tuesday Truths!

  • Lately I’ve been reflecting on my career goals and where I want to go next. I decided that I wanted to go in a different direction and have taken steps to not take projects that would be incongruent with my goals. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become less patient and have found that I’m unwilling to do things that I once did when I started out. It’s not that I deem the work less than me. It’s more of I’ve already done this in my life and want to do new things. So if you’re searching for who you’re meant to be and how to harness your passion(s), then look no further because who else but Ms. Oprah can give you an exercise to work it out! Find out what you’re great at and what you can do to keep you moving forward while being successful. So if that didn’t help you, you can also try this version in finding your purpose. Life is too short to be doing something you don’t enjoy. It may mean that you may have less financial resources or a less comfortable standard of living. It also means that you might be happier with your life where you know that your work is aligned with your values.

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  • Sometimes life can be overwhelming and for the most part, I don’t let it get to me. Most of the time, my friends/colleagues think that I always have my shiz together and yes, it’s mostly true however, life isn’t perfect and I will feel that things can be a little out of control. I’ve said in the past and continue to say it now, that I’m a procrastinator and I know it. Which means I have to take measures that will allow me to curb that bad habit. I try to schedule as much as possible knowing that I need to cushion time for me to get things done. People think that I’m a hardass when I decline invitations to hang out because I’m writing or whatever I do on any given day that I’ve set a schedule. Yes, I’m missing out on fun but I don’t have FOMO because I know the consequences of me pushing off a deadline. It’s not good for me and trust me, I’m more about creating less pain for myself in the long term then having more fun in the short term. That doesn’t mean that I won’t be spontaneous. It just means that I won’t let my procrastinating behavior take over the goody two shoes side of me. If you find yourself overwhelmed, take a breath and get focused. You’ll get it done once you create an action plan.

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  • If you’re returning from vacation, I hope you’ve had a stress free period of your life. No one ever really knows whats happening in people’s lives so if you’re outwardly exhibiting a kickass life but am inwardly waging war, please know that there are ways to make life less chaotic. Don’t forget to take care of yourself and the little things in life can make a big difference. Here are ways that you can practice self care in 15 minutes or less.

Thanks for reading/sharing – see you next Tuesday!

— Madalene

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v35

Not quite back to regular programming since Congress has another week of recess/district work period so we’re still easing our way back to reality. It was lovely to get out of DC and the crazy that constantly tells you that life is not normal. I got to visit with family and relish in nature’s beauty. I feel a little more energized and am looking forward to the rest of the year. Here’s Tuesday Truths!

  • I’m back to thinking about productivity and how I can best use my time. As we careen to the end of the calendar year, I’m always looking for ways to really maximize my efficiency to do more. I’ve used two of the apps that was listed in this article (Trello & Rescuetime) and they’ve certainly helped to free my mind of clutter so that I can keep my to do lists in one place without having to mentally worry about it. Do you have any other tools to add?

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  • When you’re stepping into a leadership role that is attached to a myriad of problems that were created prior to you start working for an organization, how you manage expectations as well as how you effectively work with the existing infrastructure can help to build trust so that you can have positive results. Transparency is also equally important so that people aren’t waiting for other shoe to drop. Having a plan on how you plan to make changes and when will help people understand how these changes will improve the organization.

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Thanks for reading/sharing – see you next Tuesday!

— Madalene

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v34 VACATION EDITION

Photo credit via

I’m out of DC & am super happy about it. My brain is still in motion because white supremacy doesn’t stop for anyone so having conversations with white folks continues to be an educational process for everyone. It’s a test of my patience and helps me to articulate my argument other than “stop being a racist” so that can be exhausting.

As a result, this week’s Tuesday Truths is dedicated to self care and how to keep yourself in peak mental health.

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  • Here are 4 changes that you can make so that you can live a healthier life. I’m so into the power sleeping. I’ve noticed a marked difference in my attitude and overall thought processes when I’ve gotten enough sleep. My least favorite is breakfast. It’s my least favorite meal yet I know that I have to eat so that I can have a productive day.

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  • I have to admit, I’m a big compartmentalizer (is that even a word?) so I tend to put my emotions in check about all sorts of things so when I’m overly tired, my emotions tend to fray and I get a bit more frazzled. I’ve had my share of time talking to my therapist and I’ve recognized that a lot of emotions are static, depending on what negative moment I experienced and didn’t really address. My mother used to tell me that she didn’t want to see me cry because she didn’t want to see me unhappy. I love my mom and that mental pressure to be happy all the time only made me hide from my negative emotions. I’ve come to realize that it’s OK to be vulnerable and that I’m giving myself the space to be self-compassionate.

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  • One of the things that I miss during these times is the warmth of my friends. So many of my closest friends aren’t physically close. With time differences and the trials of daily life, my tribe sustains itself with much scheduled coordination. In fact, I was able to visit with a dear friend 15 hours after she gave birth while I was on a work trip. Friendships are meant to be nurtured and at the same time, it is a matter of give and take. You can be yourself with your flaws while trying to face life’s challenges and your friends will ask for nothing in return. These deep ties further cement our memories and create joy for all of us.

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  • Want a better weekend? Studies show that having eudaimonic happiness over the weekend will lead to a better quality of life. We’ve become more isolated in recent years and so the idea of socializing needs to be re-introduced into our lives. That means actual human interaction and not by a digital platform. Lately, I’ve been having people over for dinner and we’ve set limits on what we can discuss (no work!) which forces all of us to talk about hobbies and topics of interest. I need more play into my life so who wants to hang out and just have fun with me?

I hope you have a chance to take a breather and living your best life. Thanks for reading/sharing & I’ll see you next Tuesday!

— Madalene

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v33 SPECIAL EDITION: Charlottesville

I hope you’ve had a chance to process what happened over the weekend and have given yourself space to be with people who love you and care about your well being. Life should not be lived in a continual place of fighting for self preservation. Everyday people of color, immigrants from all backgrounds, those who aren’t male/straight/abled bodied are fighting for equity and to be VALUED. You would think that in 2017 this kind of racism, sexism & straight forward hatred wouldn’t exist.

Yet it does and we must continue to stand with one another. Even from within the progressive movement, we remind one another to give space to those who don’t look like us. I’m reminded as an AAPI woman to look to those who aren’t like me to also be in the story and to highlight their work/accomplishments. We are not perfect and we strive to be better. It requires all of us to call out our friends and to be conscious of correcting mistakes. We can’t avoid our history and we must take action to protect one another.

A friend shared her story of being spit on & verbally abused while traveling in a full subway car in a large metropolitan city. This is unacceptable. We can’t be afraid to stand with one another and myself being half white, I look to my white allies/partners/accomplices to be brave. I understand that that it takes courage to stand up when the circumstances can be dangerous or putting yourself in bodily harm. You can be a part of the solution by having those difficult and awkward AF conversations with the people in your lives who don’t consider themselves racist but yet demonstrate that they are racists. Senator Boxer recalls a time in her youth when her mother made her confront a friend who she knew did something wrong. Its our fear of confrontation and what it can bring that causes us to let things slide. In our head and in our heart, we know it’s wrong and standing up for what’s right can make a difference. How do you go about having these conversations if you’re white? By meeting people halfway and not attacking them. This level of racism didn’t happen overnight so having one conversation isn’t going to eradicate this mentality. The responsibility can’t be on only communities of color to have these conversations.

I applaud the parents who are teaching their children about the weekend events and how society can rear its ugly head. Those conversations are helping to create adults more aware of the injustices in the world who are ready to face it as well as combat it. Raising resilient children who are self-confident and empathetic to others is already challenging. Add in this kind of environment and it makes me say an additional prayer. Fortunately, there are resources where you can find books/articles that can teach young people and adults how to have conversations about race, gender, class so much thanks to my colleague, Amber Goodwin for organizing it.

As little people get older, especially young girls who are maturing in adulthood, I’m glad to see that Teen Vogue is leading the way in using its platforms to have a discussion on racism. Earlier in the weekend, they devoted their twitter account to discuss Charlottesville and racism instead of live tweeting the Teen Choice awards. They used this time to also share where people could donate or show their support of the counter protestors and Black students returning to UVA. They also have an article on their website on how to help. Being a teenager is already hard so having media outlets talking about these tough issues to this demographic deserves all the props.

Please be kind to yourself. This year has been brutal and it continues to wear us down mentally, physically, & emotionally. Be with your tribe, talk with a professional about your feelings, process your emotions and gather your strength. There will be times when it will seem too much and that’s when you need the support of friends and loved ones to tell you that we will prevail. I recognize that there are challenges from within my community and any rage that I feel needs to be channeled into productive outlets. To alleviate the stress, use these relaxation techniques from the Mayo Clinic.

Thank you for reading/sharing and feel free to drop me a note in the comments section!

— Madalene

 

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v32

I’m looking forward to Thursday as I’ll be at Netroots Nation – whose going? Much thanks to all of you Arum Group readers who voted for my panel, “Diversifying the Progressive Movement”. If you’re attending, drop by the 1pm session at Regency VI. If you aren’t attending, you can still stream the session at 1pm eastern on Thursday, 8/10 or you can go directly to Netroots Nation’s Facebook page. How’s your summer coming along?

In the meantime, Tuesday Truths!

  • Having cordial work relationships are important to creating a sense of partnership & collaboration when circumstances necessitate it. When I think about working in politics, I think about the people who I’ve had the privilege to work with throughout the years. Sometimes we worked closely and intensely while at other times, we may have been in different departments and would say, “hello” to one another during staff meetings. Your reputation is important as it will always precede you and when you have the opportunity to introduce someone, sharing how their work product is an asset to the team goes a long way in highlighting that person’s value. Saying nice things about your colleagues not only brings positive benefits to them, but to the person saying them as well.

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  • My work area is a pit of paper. It’s managed chaos at its very best because although it may look like I have no idea what’s going on, I really do know where everything is located. Some say that it’s genius while others would leave screaming from the sight of it all. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine did a snap of his desk where it was immaculate. Everything in its place without a single piece of paper in sight. I snapped him saying that my desk would look like that on my 1st and my last day of work. My productivity doesn’t necessarily decrease from my chaos so I’m not about to change what already works but if you need to re-organize your office area, here are tips to becoming more streamlined.

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  • In politics, people tend to confuse strategy with tactics. Along the same lines, people sometimes are too busy executing that they don’t have the bandwidth to really think about the long term trajectory of an organization. This requires strategic thinking and an allotment of time to actually think. The concept of thinking, where ideas can ruminate and grow to become 3 dimensional thoughts requires people to expand their capacity beyond tactics.

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  • Showing up is half the battle. People succeed in whatever kind of environment (whether it be professional or personal) because they consistently show up. If you seriously want to reach a goal, you have to write it down and you have to create a pattern so that it starts a habit. Want to lose weight? Then you need to create a plan that details what you’re doing (exercise & meal plans) so that you can execute towards a goal. To achieve those goals, you have to show up – exercise class, to the gym, walks/runs/bikes/fill in the blank exercise activity with exerted effort, healthy choices while grocery shopping, & portion control. If you don’t show up prepared for any of these things, it will take you longer to accomplish your goal(s), if you attain them at all. This is not to say that you can’t make mistakes or fall off the wagon. It does require that when those things happen, you get back to creating a habit. This also applies to your professional career because when you’re reliable with your deadlines and do what you say you’re going to do, this creates trust. People can see that you’re walking the walk and not just talk. So when you think about commitment, you’re also thinking about trust and how that affects your brand.

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  • It’s August so it should be a time when people are relaxing on summer vacation and enjoying some down time. Back to school and back to work will be here soon enough. When that happens, you may need to pull this gif out of your back pocket because when stress comes straight for you, deeply breathing is an ally that can get you through it. The act of inhaling and exhaling can create calmness and when everything is going a bajillion miles an hour, you can take a moment to step back and recalibrate.

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  • I get so many requests for coffee (which I don’t even drink!) meetings because people have heard that I care about AAPI candidates, helping women succeed as entrepreneurs or within the political industry, and because it actually does relate to my day job as a political consultant. I try my best to always help my junior staff in asking people in my network to meet with them for informational interviews etc..and sometimes the time I spend on career counseling can be excessive which leads me to when you should or shouldn’t work for free. I see it as power without accountability. People ask for my opinion because they think I have it together, although that is debatable on certain days so my brand makes you think that I have it together. Everyone has different definitions about what is successful and my friends think I’m well disciplined when it comes to how I spend my time. It’s a constant struggle and when people start taking time from me where I should be charging for that expertise, I need to push back and reclaim it (I know, Auntie Maxine said it first!). If you’re in a position where you can’t navigate between charging or doing something pro bono, you need to recognize what do you actually get out of it. Is it a monetary compensation or is it something that can deepen a relationship and/or bring more exposure to your work? Who you target for your audience will determine your price point and every activity has a price range for your cost of services.

Thanks for reading/sharing! See you next Tuesday!

— Madalene

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v31

Congress has recessed and once again, ObamaCare continues on even though the Republican controlled Senate continues to insist that it needs to be repealed. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted! I’m ready for a time-out from DC and looking forward to a change of scenery. I hope you’ve got plans for the August exodus!

Here’s Tuesday Truths!

  • This year has been extremely demoralizing on the professional front. Yet, I know that there are bright spots to my life that I’m fortunate to experience. I get teary eyed thinking about my friendships and how they have individually grown as people. They have experienced professional triumphs and are easing into personal transitions (motherhood, finding partners etc..). Life is about having the ability to build resilience and as I hit my stride into mid life, I know that I have the skills to face the challenges that come with change. Here’s how you can prepare for what life is certainly going to bring your way.

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  • Do you want to be more productive? Have you tried time batching? I have Follow up Fridays in my office to do follow up calls for those donors who have yet to contribute their commitments. This particular technique keeps me and my team grounded in knowing that we can take care of these follow ups and we won’t lose track of these outstanding items.

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  • In political communication, we warn candidates/campaigns that they have to define themselves otherwise their opponents will create their narrative for them and you spend more time trying to refute someone else’s misconceptions vs setting the story straight from the get go. So when you think about self promotion, you need to think about how you talk about yourself and how your narrative can highlight your accomplishments. Share the credit and bring others with you.

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  • I try to create a work environment that shows my team that we’re in this together and that I value their work. Some of the things that I do include doing a weekly staff lunch (whether ordering in for the office or taking them out to a restaurant of their choice), awarding my team with gifts from when I have work travel and they’re holding down the fort, as well as creating projects where they have forced family fun. In the end, I’ve found that the camaraderie that is created goes across the generations of staff that I’ve had the good fortunate to mentor in the 15 years I’ve had my firm and I hope that these small gestures lets them know that they’re appreciated. As a result, I’ve been invited to weddings, baby showers and celebrations of personal milestones years after our professional relationship has ended. My biggest hope is that they treat their teams as they were treated so that the circle expands and people treat one another with respect and personally invest in their success.

Thanks for reading/sharing & look forward to visiting with you next Tuesday!

— Madalene

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v30

It’s been an eventful week since our last Tuesday Truths: I was part of a presser for the launch of the National Association of Diverse Consultants (which got covered in Campaigns & Elections as well as the NBC News website), introduced a new member of Congress to the drama of the call room (really, it’s quite boring), and traveled to the San Francisco Bay area to do another campaign management training. Plus, I got to be the proud spouse and see The Mister get quoted in the New York Times 🙂 Not bad for the middle of an “off-year” Summer!

Here’s Tuesday Truths…

  • We spend a lot of time delving into improving our professional and personal self development as well as talking about how we’re usually a work in progress. There’s always going to be something that we can improve. There’s also going to be time when we’re just exhausted and feel quite happy coasting along. Are you actually ever really done with self improvement is a question that Marie Forleo poses and I would enjoy hearing your comments/thoughts!

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  • I’m headed for a much needed break in August (although I will have wifi and be accessible), I’m going to ponder these four work-life questions as I start to think how I’m going to spend the remaining calendar year. You can use it if you’re thinking about your own career path and what you can be doing to make yourself a more well rounded person.

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  • Being happy takes a lot of work. For me, it means being a little less self absorbed and being more open. It means releasing negativity and not letting the little slights get at my positivity. It means finding solutions to my fears and worries and recognizing that I have a pretty happy life already. It means that I create the environment that will give me the most peace, the most sanctuary and try to provide that for someone else who is less fortunate. Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness. Take note of the things that you do to put obstacles in front of you and change your behavior so that you give to others.

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  • Being in politics requires a tough skin. You’re in the public eye and if you’re really in the game, you’re bound to be criticized. Even if you’re not an elected official, your personal ecosystem, whether it’s in your office or in your personal space as a volunteer leader, will involve having critics. How do you overcome the negativity? I acknowledge that there is a difference of opinion and that people have different priorities. In the scheme of things, most of the time, you’ll have more advocates than critics and only listening to the criticism isn’t worth the energy to address it.

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  • I know that I have my “go-to” words for conversations and writing. With the current political environment, I’ve made a conscious effort to remove the word, “great’ from my vocabulary. There are times when I break out Google and check synonyms because I know that there are better alternatives for the same tired words that are my first choice. I may not agree with this author’s point about “making an ask” because obviously, I do it quite often as a fundraiser, but he does provide interesting points for how you can make yourself sound smarter by cleaning up your word choices.

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Thanks for reading/sharing and drop me a note if you got a comment!

— Madalene

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v29

I’m getting ready to get back on the road again! Leaving for the Bay area to do another training and hopefully experience cooler temperatures than the DC humidity. On a non work related topic, whose been watching GoT??? I’m loving the women characters from the premiere. Lady Mormont maybe small and she doesn’t need anyone’s permission! #FeminisimRules

Here’s Tuesday Truths!

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  • Work is work and sometimes we get caught in the notion that you have to love your work to be happy in life. Life isn’t meant to be perfect because you need the ebb and flow to understand gratitude. Recognizing when the benefits of your work outweigh the challenges is really the key to understanding if you’re doing what you love. It’s probably the reason why I continue to review the past 15 years as an entrepreneur with rose colored glasses. I can barely remember the times when I wanted to throw in the towel because all of the benefits outweigh the challenges. It’s good to know what drives your purpose because when your work becomes a career, it can also be an adventurous journey. Here are a few extraordinary women who share how they made their careers into an adventure.

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  • As a woman, I know all too well the pressures that society places on my gender in both a professional and personal context. For the longest time, my own mother (who has been an independent woman for all of her life) really didn’t understand why I didn’t want to get married and because she raised a stubborn daughter, I pointedly didn’t get married when she wanted me to just so that I could say that I did it out of my own choice and not by being harangued into it. Living in DC, where everything is not normal, I see women who chose to have children later in life and women who decided to get married in their 30s+ or not at all. I have also shared how the “outside/normal” world thinks about women candidates/elected officials who are single or who don’t have children. Society continues to place pressure on gender roles and finding a workplace that takes that into consideration is extremely forward thinking. This has led to new opportunities for businesses to fill in the gaps. There are now maternity concierge services that will help women with the issues that they normally deal with so that they can focus on returning to work. It’s helpful in getting the tasks done so that women aren’t trying to do it all however it doesn’t address the same societal pressure that it’s women who have to be the ones responsible in executing these tasks.

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  • I’m trying to be more present these days which means, I don’t look at my phone. I have an app that tells me each week how much time I spend on a particular app where I’m trying to curtail my engagement. I try to spend one day of the weekend where I don’t read my email and I don’t respond to work. I don’t want my life to be a series of hours that were meant to catch up. So if you’re learning how to unplug, here are a few suggestions so that you can properly decompress and come back refreshed.

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  • We live such crazy hectic lives that it seems a little out of place to slow down. I have to be honest and tell you that I have a lot of guilt if I’m not doing a million different things (which is a horrible habit). My brain is constantly firing away at different thoughts and projects that it physically hurts when I have to focus **all** of my attention to accomplish one action. You should have seen me last week responding to my French tutor in French in an email. It’s been more than 6 months since I used my brain to speak, let alone think, in another language. You could virtually see the steam coming out of my ears because my brain was working so hard. So it’s a nice reminder to everyone, including myself that it’s OK to slow down. I used to drive a lot more than I do now and I used to listen to NPR or the BBC on the radio and I can’t do that anymore because listening to the news is too depressing. So the alternative to listening to the news is silence, which is an act of kindness to myself. Silence is so rare and I do my best thinking when there is no noise but my thoughts. Hence, my best thinking comes from when I take a shower, but maybe TMI. Nonetheless, I like driving in silence and I can say that I’m meditating (sorta).

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