Tag Archives: mentoring

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v40

We’re in a new QTR and getting ready for the end of the year. It’s also a good time to reassess goals and strategize any kind of course correction. Over the weekend, I got a chance to talk with a group about basic fundraising and with the women who are participants of the WeLead program through American University’s Women in Politics Institute and with both groups, I reiterated that going through the process helps you to set your goals and move the needle. You can always modify your plans because nothing is written in stone so if you really want to track your progress, write it down! It’s not necessary for you to share your plans or you can choose to shout it from the rooftops. Putting these goals on paper allows you to see what steps you need to take to move forward and you get to celebrate every time you make progress, regardless of how big or small the step.

Let’s get to Tuesday Truths!

  • One of the questions I received while speaking at the WeLead program dealt with my self-care. Instead of really addressing what I do for myself, I talked more about what happens with my staff so that they recognize that they need to do it for themselves and for people who work on their team. I would rather teach by example so when people leave for their next opportunity, they will demonstrate the same kinds of habits that they experienced as a staffer in their new role as a manager. These habits shouldn’t limit itself to work. We’ve talked about expressing thanks and living with more gratitude/kindness. These steps can help you in establishing that kind of culture at least in your professional life and hopefully, it can be felt personally as well.

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  • Along with publicly thanking my team, I also work with them individually and privately on their professional development. We try to meet quarterly so that we can assess where they are on their goals as well as what I may catch as a potential bad habit (which we want to nip sooner rather than later). We initially talk about strengths and weaknesses and develop ways that they can neutralize whatever weaknesses were identified. As we continue to work together, I can provide feedback on what’s working. These can be tough conversations because who wants to point out other people’s flaws? What helps is that you’re both working together towards action items that can show improvement. Here are ideas when you need to give feedback to your staff.

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  • My office is a training ground for emerging leaders (I am like a proud mother hen!) because I have a slew of former staffers and interns who are making their way in their specific fields and ROCKING it. I like to think that their time with me helped to form them as professionals, not only in their work performance but also with how they work with their teams. Becoming a manager in politics does not come with a manual. When I recently worked with the DNC on a training, there was a session basically discussing how to be a good manager. This included performance reviews, working with people who may be much more older and more seasoned than you, and building relationships that are far flung when you have offices stretching miles across a state. All of these issues are important when you lead a team. Building cohesiveness while providing structure and discipline. All of these points aren’t necessarily taught in a campaign atmosphere because we’re focused on meeting deadlines and goals. What people don’t realize is that if you don’t set the tone immediately as a manager, all of your goals and deadlines won’t matter if your team is back stabbing and lacks the motivation to get through more challenging situations. So guess what? New managers need support and the ability to learn how to be good managers – that means take the time to train them and connect them to others who have the experience to help them navigate a tough situation. If you need help, read this article to figure out what to ask for so that you can get the skills you need.

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  • When you’re thinking about where you are in your career, you should also spend the time with where you are in life. Are you aligned with your purpose in life? Pretty deep question to ponder and it’s one that can provide you with fulfillment. The Japanese concept of ikigai doesn’t need to be grand. It needs to be specific to you and believe it or not, it doesn’t have to do with work or with income.

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  • One of the questions from the WeLead participants dealt with advice to our younger selves and one of the panelists talked about not being enamored with someone else’s job title. I can wholeheartedly agree with this concept. Placing value on your worth is about your ability and skill. Job titles are free and kicking ass everyday in whatever position you hold is about valuing yourself. Competition is healthy when it motivates you to say that you are working towards a goal or reaching an achievement. Compete with yourself to gain more skills and to be more qualified than you were last year. The jobs that you take in life don’t define who you are so don’t let others use that as a way to create doubt about your abilities.

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Thanks for reading/sharing! See you next Tuesday!

— Madalene

 

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v39

We’re in the final stretch of the QTR so get your money in for all of the political causes you believe in so that we can have the highest tally on September 30th. As much as I appreciate support on October 1st, it’s a little painful that it can’t count for the 3rd QTR. The flip side is that that contribution starts off the 4th QTR count. Fundraising never ends!

Here’s Tuesday Truths!

  • Much thanks to Tanya Tarr for featuring me in her negotiation article about resilience. If you’re getting started in fundraising, you can read more about Tanya’s experience about staying in the saddle even after getting several no’s and how as she continued forward, her asks got bigger and the results got better! I’ve always felt that creating your own luck is essential to getting to your goals and as a result, you learn how to be resilient.

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  • Building teams to execute a project can be challenging and when you’re working in a small organization, there aren’t that many opportunities to mix up the staff to spur creativity. You do have the ability to change up the environment and to motivate your team through incentives to reward them for a job well done. Here are ways that can help you build a better team or at the very least, encourage your team members to feel that the work really is a team effort. I’ve talked about how I’ve taken my team to a weekly staff lunch of their choice. It’s also important to acknowledge each team member for their accomplishments in a public way and I also show my gratitude by purchasing gift cards or something from the road when I’m traveling to thank them. As much as I like being in the office to get work done, it’s important to not always have a static setting when you’re trying to innovate. So step away from a familiar setting to get new ideas flowing.

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  • I mentor quite a few women who are in the beginning stages of their careers and provide career advice for women who maybe hitting their stride in their chosen profession and are likely maybe a decade younger then me. Having these conversations are fulfilling because I hope that by sharing my experiences, I’m helping them navigate their own career path. The benefit for me is that their questions also highlights for me the current trends affecting professionals of their experience and age. When you think about establishing a relationship with a mentor, there will be expectations from both sides so setting boundaries is important and recognizing what you want out of the relationship.

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  • I’m all about sharing a platform for women and women of color. My sisters in the tech industry (where I have some experience being that I have fundraised in that industry since the mid 1990s from venture capitalists for political campaigns and organizations) are fighting against the stereotypes of AAPI women who work in this field. Big props to Tina Lee, a dear friend who heads up a nonprofit to train moms how to code and to re-engage in the work force. AAPI women continue to make strides to be valued for our intelligence and technical ability and I’m looking forward to hearing more success stories of their progress.

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  • When I started in politics, I moved from field to fundraising and at the time, I didn’t know that many people of color who did fundraising. I also was working in a very specific area within the Democratic Party: moderate Democrats so an area that leaned more heavily into the business community and more Southern. Which meant that I spent a lot of time with Caucasian people, both elected officials and donors. I didn’t spend a lot of time with the AAPI community and it wasn’t until I started working with AAPI candidates and elected officials did I start to learn about the AAPI narrative. By then I was an established fundraiser and had already spent time training people with the philosophy that regardless of your ethnic background, your abilities transcends your race. You’re a good communications director, fundraiser, campaign manager and you also happen to be “fill in the blank”. Provide the training so that people from all backgrounds can have the technical skills to advance in their careers. Marry that with opportunity and hopefully you will have a pipeline that creates a diverse work force within the progressive movement. In that context, it irks me to no end when organizations talk about having people of color working in their organizations and they aren’t in leadership positions or they are relegated to only engaging with their constituency. I’m a good fundraiser and I have the cultural competency to talk with my natural constituency and that shouldn’t limit me to only talking to my constituency. I ain’t got time for tokenism and neither should you. Take a good hard look within and around you. We’re not perfect and making changes so that we don’t fall into that trap for show will make for a better relationship for all of us.

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  • I’ve been watching MSNBC for a while and although it’s not Wednesday, I’ve got #WCW vibes for Joy Reid. Most of the time when I’m perusing my twitter feed, I’m screaming “YAASSS!” when reading her comments. She was recently profiled in Vogue.com and it was cool to see that the article pointed out that with tv as her medium, she uses the opportunity to create a full package of herself.

Thanks for reading/sharing and hope to see you next week! Drop me a line if you want to have a particular subject matter shared.

— Madalene

 

 

 

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v32

I’m looking forward to Thursday as I’ll be at Netroots Nation – whose going? Much thanks to all of you Arum Group readers who voted for my panel, “Diversifying the Progressive Movement”. If you’re attending, drop by the 1pm session at Regency VI. If you aren’t attending, you can still stream the session at 1pm eastern on Thursday, 8/10 or you can go directly to Netroots Nation’s Facebook page. How’s your summer coming along?

In the meantime, Tuesday Truths!

  • Having cordial work relationships are important to creating a sense of partnership & collaboration when circumstances necessitate it. When I think about working in politics, I think about the people who I’ve had the privilege to work with throughout the years. Sometimes we worked closely and intensely while at other times, we may have been in different departments and would say, “hello” to one another during staff meetings. Your reputation is important as it will always precede you and when you have the opportunity to introduce someone, sharing how their work product is an asset to the team goes a long way in highlighting that person’s value. Saying nice things about your colleagues not only brings positive benefits to them, but to the person saying them as well.

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  • My work area is a pit of paper. It’s managed chaos at its very best because although it may look like I have no idea what’s going on, I really do know where everything is located. Some say that it’s genius while others would leave screaming from the sight of it all. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine did a snap of his desk where it was immaculate. Everything in its place without a single piece of paper in sight. I snapped him saying that my desk would look like that on my 1st and my last day of work. My productivity doesn’t necessarily decrease from my chaos so I’m not about to change what already works but if you need to re-organize your office area, here are tips to becoming more streamlined.

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  • In politics, people tend to confuse strategy with tactics. Along the same lines, people sometimes are too busy executing that they don’t have the bandwidth to really think about the long term trajectory of an organization. This requires strategic thinking and an allotment of time to actually think. The concept of thinking, where ideas can ruminate and grow to become 3 dimensional thoughts requires people to expand their capacity beyond tactics.

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  • Showing up is half the battle. People succeed in whatever kind of environment (whether it be professional or personal) because they consistently show up. If you seriously want to reach a goal, you have to write it down and you have to create a pattern so that it starts a habit. Want to lose weight? Then you need to create a plan that details what you’re doing (exercise & meal plans) so that you can execute towards a goal. To achieve those goals, you have to show up – exercise class, to the gym, walks/runs/bikes/fill in the blank exercise activity with exerted effort, healthy choices while grocery shopping, & portion control. If you don’t show up prepared for any of these things, it will take you longer to accomplish your goal(s), if you attain them at all. This is not to say that you can’t make mistakes or fall off the wagon. It does require that when those things happen, you get back to creating a habit. This also applies to your professional career because when you’re reliable with your deadlines and do what you say you’re going to do, this creates trust. People can see that you’re walking the walk and not just talk. So when you think about commitment, you’re also thinking about trust and how that affects your brand.

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  • It’s August so it should be a time when people are relaxing on summer vacation and enjoying some down time. Back to school and back to work will be here soon enough. When that happens, you may need to pull this gif out of your back pocket because when stress comes straight for you, deeply breathing is an ally that can get you through it. The act of inhaling and exhaling can create calmness and when everything is going a bajillion miles an hour, you can take a moment to step back and recalibrate.

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  • I get so many requests for coffee (which I don’t even drink!) meetings because people have heard that I care about AAPI candidates, helping women succeed as entrepreneurs or within the political industry, and because it actually does relate to my day job as a political consultant. I try my best to always help my junior staff in asking people in my network to meet with them for informational interviews etc..and sometimes the time I spend on career counseling can be excessive which leads me to when you should or shouldn’t work for free. I see it as power without accountability. People ask for my opinion because they think I have it together, although that is debatable on certain days so my brand makes you think that I have it together. Everyone has different definitions about what is successful and my friends think I’m well disciplined when it comes to how I spend my time. It’s a constant struggle and when people start taking time from me where I should be charging for that expertise, I need to push back and reclaim it (I know, Auntie Maxine said it first!). If you’re in a position where you can’t navigate between charging or doing something pro bono, you need to recognize what do you actually get out of it. Is it a monetary compensation or is it something that can deepen a relationship and/or bring more exposure to your work? Who you target for your audience will determine your price point and every activity has a price range for your cost of services.

Thanks for reading/sharing! See you next Tuesday!

— Madalene

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v31

Congress has recessed and once again, ObamaCare continues on even though the Republican controlled Senate continues to insist that it needs to be repealed. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted! I’m ready for a time-out from DC and looking forward to a change of scenery. I hope you’ve got plans for the August exodus!

Here’s Tuesday Truths!

  • This year has been extremely demoralizing on the professional front. Yet, I know that there are bright spots to my life that I’m fortunate to experience. I get teary eyed thinking about my friendships and how they have individually grown as people. They have experienced professional triumphs and are easing into personal transitions (motherhood, finding partners etc..). Life is about having the ability to build resilience and as I hit my stride into mid life, I know that I have the skills to face the challenges that come with change. Here’s how you can prepare for what life is certainly going to bring your way.

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  • Do you want to be more productive? Have you tried time batching? I have Follow up Fridays in my office to do follow up calls for those donors who have yet to contribute their commitments. This particular technique keeps me and my team grounded in knowing that we can take care of these follow ups and we won’t lose track of these outstanding items.

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  • In political communication, we warn candidates/campaigns that they have to define themselves otherwise their opponents will create their narrative for them and you spend more time trying to refute someone else’s misconceptions vs setting the story straight from the get go. So when you think about self promotion, you need to think about how you talk about yourself and how your narrative can highlight your accomplishments. Share the credit and bring others with you.

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  • I try to create a work environment that shows my team that we’re in this together and that I value their work. Some of the things that I do include doing a weekly staff lunch (whether ordering in for the office or taking them out to a restaurant of their choice), awarding my team with gifts from when I have work travel and they’re holding down the fort, as well as creating projects where they have forced family fun. In the end, I’ve found that the camaraderie that is created goes across the generations of staff that I’ve had the good fortunate to mentor in the 15 years I’ve had my firm and I hope that these small gestures lets them know that they’re appreciated. As a result, I’ve been invited to weddings, baby showers and celebrations of personal milestones years after our professional relationship has ended. My biggest hope is that they treat their teams as they were treated so that the circle expands and people treat one another with respect and personally invest in their success.

Thanks for reading/sharing & look forward to visiting with you next Tuesday!

— Madalene

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v30

It’s been an eventful week since our last Tuesday Truths: I was part of a presser for the launch of the National Association of Diverse Consultants (which got covered in Campaigns & Elections as well as the NBC News website), introduced a new member of Congress to the drama of the call room (really, it’s quite boring), and traveled to the San Francisco Bay area to do another campaign management training. Plus, I got to be the proud spouse and see The Mister get quoted in the New York Times 🙂 Not bad for the middle of an “off-year” Summer!

Here’s Tuesday Truths…

  • We spend a lot of time delving into improving our professional and personal self development as well as talking about how we’re usually a work in progress. There’s always going to be something that we can improve. There’s also going to be time when we’re just exhausted and feel quite happy coasting along. Are you actually ever really done with self improvement is a question that Marie Forleo poses and I would enjoy hearing your comments/thoughts!

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  • I’m headed for a much needed break in August (although I will have wifi and be accessible), I’m going to ponder these four work-life questions as I start to think how I’m going to spend the remaining calendar year. You can use it if you’re thinking about your own career path and what you can be doing to make yourself a more well rounded person.

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  • Being happy takes a lot of work. For me, it means being a little less self absorbed and being more open. It means releasing negativity and not letting the little slights get at my positivity. It means finding solutions to my fears and worries and recognizing that I have a pretty happy life already. It means that I create the environment that will give me the most peace, the most sanctuary and try to provide that for someone else who is less fortunate. Don’t stand in the way of your own happiness. Take note of the things that you do to put obstacles in front of you and change your behavior so that you give to others.

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  • Being in politics requires a tough skin. You’re in the public eye and if you’re really in the game, you’re bound to be criticized. Even if you’re not an elected official, your personal ecosystem, whether it’s in your office or in your personal space as a volunteer leader, will involve having critics. How do you overcome the negativity? I acknowledge that there is a difference of opinion and that people have different priorities. In the scheme of things, most of the time, you’ll have more advocates than critics and only listening to the criticism isn’t worth the energy to address it.

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  • I know that I have my “go-to” words for conversations and writing. With the current political environment, I’ve made a conscious effort to remove the word, “great’ from my vocabulary. There are times when I break out Google and check synonyms because I know that there are better alternatives for the same tired words that are my first choice. I may not agree with this author’s point about “making an ask” because obviously, I do it quite often as a fundraiser, but he does provide interesting points for how you can make yourself sound smarter by cleaning up your word choices.

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Thanks for reading/sharing and drop me a note if you got a comment!

— Madalene

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v28

Big day today! We’re getting a new U.S. Representative for CA34 sworn into Congress. Exciting times! This past weekend, I was in Los Angeles for another client, America’s Opportunity Fund (AOF) doing a training for AAPI campaign operatives and candidates. It was terrific to meet local activists and help them move ahead with their political careers. I’ll be in the Bay area in 2 weeks and can’t wait to see everyone!

Here’s Tuesday Truths!

  • I tremendously loved reading this post because I’m a horrible small talker (yes, believe me especially since I work in an industry where communication is key) and really alerted me to a basic reminder: everyone just wants to connect with the people they meet. Strangers may or may not become friends but they become less strangers to one another. The secret to small talk is being unafraid to be awkward. Easier said than done. So when I remind myself to give zero f*cks, I became a more open person to opportunity and connection. Be your awkward self and people will see that you’re authentic.

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  • Being a woman is HARSH. There are so many challenges and outside variables that nag at your self confidence. Are you married? Do you have children? Where are you in your career? Is there a growing competition between older and younger women? I am fortunate to have good genes that disguise my mid 40s age. I also have a mindset that allows me to stop thinking about age (whether it’s me or my friends/colleagues). For the longest time, I couldn’t track my friends’ ages. I knew that we were relatively in the same age group due to job experience etc but it wasn’t until they publicly celebrated milestone birthdays did I really see an age attached to them. IMO, there are women who are truly ageless, not because they look a certain way, more because they have a variety of friends of different ages, generally are current on technology and are compassionate/passionate advocates for their work & lives. I see the women who mentor me who are in their 70s & 80s and think, when I started in this business they were well into their 50s and they continue with such grace and veracity. The ageless generation (women who are in their 40s-50s) are my inspiration to keep myself curious and creative.

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  • I obviously love what I do because I spend a lot of my weekends doing it as well! I remember when I worked in the hospitality industry and realized that my schedule no longer aligned with my friends (they had weekends and my definition of a weekend may have been a Monday-Thursday and be non-consecutive). I recognized that the industry wasn’t right for me and also that I’m the type of person who would easily give up a traditional weekend if it meant doing what I loved. So if you’re in a job situation that doesn’t meet your passion, then you should consider a few things before you decide to throw in the towel. You maybe feeling a little stuck and you’ll have to assess the situation but if you’re living only towards the weekend, it’s a red flag that’s also blinking DANGER DANGER.

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Thanks for reading/sharing – we’ll be back next Tuesday!

— Madalene

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Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v26

OMG – it’s the end of the month and end of the QTR and we’re headed into the July 4th recess. Then it’s full steam ahead before the August recess. I’m ready for a break!

Here’s Tuesday Truths to get you through the week!

  • I believe a great deal in what Eric Liu espouses and I hope that people who have recently become active in the political process will take it to heart about being a part of a community and those who have been in the battle, allow space for those who are interested in joining. Civic life doesn’t start/stop at becoming an elected official and it grows every time someone wants to be a part of the collective mission.

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  • If you’re thinking about working in politics, doing it at a younger age has it advantages and if you’re extra fortunate to have the resources to participate, it’s even more advantageous. We’re talking long hours with very little compensation. I often say that working on campaigns can lead to many more opportunities should the campaign win and since campaigns are always understaffed, if you can excel at your job then you’re going to be successful. Campaign work is basically the equivalent of aging in dog years. You get to gain so much responsibility if people can see that you’re producing quality work. Life is good when you’re the last person standing or among the few left who survive the grind. With that mindset, it means that young people are given responsibility a lot faster than in a more structured setting and you may doubt your ability although management may seem to think otherwise. Confidence is a key factor to making sure that you don’t exude imposter syndrome as well as a healthy dose of reality from people who have more experience and are invested in your success. So if you’re in your early 20s you may benefit from hearing about Adam Litt, a former presidential speechwriter who worked in the White House at 24 years of age.

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  • I’ve spent a great deal of June speaking on panels, whether to interns or full fledge attorneys and giving lots of career advice to those who are seriously thinking about running for public office. I get asked a lot of similar questions and it basically boils down to “What would you tell your younger self about your career trajectory?”. I did tell a group that they should consider a purchase in real estate in DC because everyone says that they’re staying for 5 years and then 25 years later, they realize that they should have bought property instead of renting #beingpractical. I have also started saying that life is unfair, get used to it and don’t think you need to take giant leaps to make a difference. I try to be inspiring and in the end, I find that I would rather give practical advice because work life is never consistently rosy. As a result, I’m happy to find that Jennifer Romolini is offering career advice that most people don’t know how to share.

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Thanks for reading/sharing and let me know how you’re doing!

–Madalene

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v25

We’ve got an election today in Georgia 6 so we’ll see what happens after the polls close and we left everything on the field. #Flipthe6th

In the meantime, let’s dish about Tuesday Truths!

  • We’re in full swing with interns in DC and that means a lot of young people running around getting coffee and making copies (seriously, does that happen anymore? c’mon people, aren’t we more environmentally friendly?). Nonetheless, there are going to be people who will think that there are jobs that are not worthy of them. I may complain about it because after 20+ years working in politics, I know that when there’s work to be done, I’m going to get it done, regardless of the task. At the end of the day, I greatly respect the people who have taken years to master the simplest of tasks because before they move on to the next accomplishment, they have achieved perfection. If you’re on the 1st rung of the ladder and want to reach the top rung, you’ll have to work for it and there maybe a time when you can take several steps ahead of others. To do that, you need to have a positive image of yourself as well as your abilities and where you want to go with your goals. Take this time to mold your scope of responsibilities to something that you can be proud of on your road to leadership.

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  • Can you believe that the U.S. ranks 101st when it comes to gender equity in our national legislature?? China, Iraq & Afghanistan outrank us (frigging unbelievable). In years past, American women declined to jump into politics, but the political climate has ignited a flame within women to run for office. It’s partly our jobs to build the bench. I always like to remind people that being in politics really means being a public servant. Women warriors, we’re going to call you and I hope that you’ll take the leap!

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  • The joke from my friends is that I must have a endless wardrobe collection and I’ve had fun documenting my fashion choices via Instagram and FB. One of the 1st questions I got was when I was going to repeat wearing the same outfit. I do admit to having an extensive closet so although I have repeated, it would be many months and sometimes years in between. Who knew that it was a fashion faux pas?

Thanks for reading/sharing and don’t forget to subscribe!

— Madalene

 

 

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v23

Can you believe that half of 2017 has already passed? We’re 6 months into this calendar year and yet it seems like it’s been forever. I don’t know about you, but I feel like we’re in a constant battle and to be perfectly honest, my brain and entire being is feeling a bit weathered from the barrage. I’ve been politically active for over 20+ years as a professional operative and if you count the years I spent as a student activist, even more time being involved in the issues of the day. My everyday life revolves around politics and political empowerment so it’s not unusual to be acutely aware of the challenges that we face as women and as a woman of color. Everything at this moment in time feels extremely amplified and charged. My friendships are based around my professional life so to step away from political life can be challenging because I surround myself from people who are just as passionate about the issues. So I find myself forcibly taking breaks that take me out of politics. As a result, I’m taking the time to pause and recharge in settings outside of DC, even during the work week. Taking this time allows me to re-center and think with more clarity. If you don’t have the ability to remove yourself from an environment, I hope you can find a way to find an oasis to give yourself the ability to exhale.

Here’s Tuesday Truths!

  • Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good is something that I strive towards although I’m more than likely to want perfection to be a goal. The need for perfection is something I have tried to squash because as a child, I got straight As and had so much stress about disappointing people that it would sometimes create paralysis. I still try my hardest to be my best self, whether it’s learning more about a specific topic or doing new things because I still don’t think I’m a fully formed person, maybe 80% set in my ways and the rest learning how to evolve. So the idea of being flawless might be cornered by the very few, it’s not necessarily the mindset that I want to take for myself. Enjoying the good in a flawed life is OK because I can be happy with what I have and be in the moment. Striving for better is nice and it can be ambitious, but I won’t let it keep me from feeling blessed for what I’ve achieved.

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  • Bad habits can be hard to break. The more you understand the root cause of these types of habits, the better chance you will have in re-setting your life. Mindfulness is how you begin changing those habits. I have found that life is a series of choices and how you decide to pursue your choices is really the deciding factor. Bad habits are really choices that are sometimes made without real contemplation. So much of life requires self reflection. People ask for my help about their brand but if you haven’t taken the time to think about it yourself, no one can really help you. We can coax you to think about certain aspects but the actual decision of what you want for yourself can ultimately only be decided by you. Punishing yourself isn’t going to help the situation (see above post about perfection). Recognizing what triggers these habits will help to better understand the emotions that cause you do something. Breaking the cycle begins with stopping yourself just so you can notice the negative things that are happening.

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  • I have the mantra of #livinahappylife and that means living it the way that I find the most fulfilling. For a moment in my mid 20s, I needed to remember what fueled my passion. I have never believed in destiny, the idea that it’s pre-determined that you would do something or there’s a master plan. There are times when society will place pressure on you to be defined by what you’re doing or where you work. No longer giving F*cks is so important to finding your own happiness, even when what you may doing is actualizing your life. Life isn’t meant to be perfect, it’s meant to be lived so that you can enjoy all the things that surround you.

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  • Everyone always talks about how multi-tasking is completely useless. Yet, I find on job descriptions the ability to multi-task is part of the requirements portion (I will need to review my own firm’s job descriptions for interns and associates to REMOVE that piece.). I work on so many projects that a majority of the time, I find that we never get from A-Z on a project because there are so many hiccups. Does that count as multi-tasking? The word has been so over-used that it’s hard for me to think of my work life as nothing more than a connection of actions that are dependent on others to do what’s necessary for me to move on the next action to completion. This all being said, there’s a time management strategy called kanban that can eliminate multi-tasking and get you to a more focused way of completing projects.

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  • When your work life has got you DOWN, remember Toni Morrison has the reminders about your worth. Living in DC, people like to tie our identities to the jobs that we have and it takes a lot of effort to not allow that connection be the criteria of how you value yourself. You can also stop the cycle! When you meet people for the 1st time, talk about their interests, not about what they do or who/where they work – life is so much more and don’t let others determine that value for you.

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Got a comment? Drop me a note below, on Facebook, or twitter! Thanks for reading/sharing and I’ll see you here next Tuesday!

— Madalene

Tuesday Truths 2017 Edition v22

Hope everyone had a good 3 day weekend! My father served in the armed forces and although he had already retired his military service by the time I was born, he reminded me of his dedication to the U.S. with his actions and through his relationships with those who served with him. I constantly grew up with stories and mementos of his military career. For example, there is a piece of jagged shrapnel that sits on the fireplace mantel of my childhood home that is a keepsake of what my father endured. He was wounded by that piece of shrapnel and kept it as a reminder. When my father passed away, my mother and I had his burial at Arlington National Cemetery and when I visit him now, I’m made more aware of how many more burials there have been in the nearly 30 years since his funeral. The markers are not of those who served in long ago battles/wars but within recent times. I see parents visiting their children, especially mothers/fathers and widows who sit on lawn chairs, sometimes with small children playing beside them while the adults keep their deceased loved ones company. Even after three decades, if I allow myself the moment, I can tear up thinking about my father so I can only imagine the grief that those left behind must feel. Military service is one of the highest honors to this country and I salute all of those who have served and continue to do so as well as give the utmost respect to the family members who support and continue on in service.

Here’s Tuesday Truths!

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  • Managers, soon-to-be managers, supervisors & the like – we need you to create space for emerging talent and guess what, you’ll be rewarded with those people who step forward with them taking things off your plate! Ways that you can expand the leadership circle starts with you so let’s get cracking by changing the environment – it’s a WIN/WIN!

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  • The feedback that I’ve received from my team throughout the years is that people in my office feel valued and I take the time to invest in their progress (even after they leave Arum Group). When brands/companies/restaurants/retail establishments create a healthy work environment, teams form with the company philosophy in mind. Individuals are not just getting a paycheck, they believe in the work. When you have customer service where the employee cares about the customer because the employee knows that that’s part of the brand of the company as well as why, you have a brand that will weather more challenging times. Companies that care about their employees take the time to understand their employees’ well being. If I’m on deadline, I maybe a more irritable person and less cheery but my team knows my quirks and knows that I’m on their side to making them successful. Personality is an ever changing situation but the core of my team’s values remains the same. We fight for one another and when we make mistakes, it’s on me. I’m thankful for their work and I care about them individually. It’s important to understand that I value them and not see them as just another person who clocks in. This creates trust between us and that they can count on me as much as I can count on them.

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  • For those folks who are experiencing their 1st professional job interviews post college, you may want to review these tips to make sure you’re prepped. Some of them are very basic but better to be overly prepared then running late going to the wrong address. I had a young woman who was walking frantically in my neighborhood looking for the address for her interview (mind you, I live in a fairly residential area so not a lot of office buildings) so she knew that something was off. I asked her if she needed help and she showed me the address. Of course, living in DC is also about understanding the quadrant system and she was in NE and not NW (where she was scheduled to interview). I let her know and she was quite distraught that she was going to be late (not a good feeling when you’re trying to remain calm as you interview). It happens and you can prevent being frazzled if you advance your interview location or at the very least, check out where it is located on google maps. Happy Interviewing!

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  • Congratulations, you have the job offer! In this market, you may want to accept the 1st position offered to you but let’s take a moment to think about whether it’s the best fit. You spend so much time at work that aside from the paycheck, you might as well get something out of it for a future position.

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  • For those of us who work constantly, there is a major risk of burnout. My friends and colleagues who have moved out of DC have discovered that work life balance does exist and it’s a crazy atmosphere that drives DC professionals to becoming workaholics. Whether it’s the peer pressure of those around us who are consistently working themselves to the brink of exhaustion or the demands of our jobs, where there aren’t enough people to execute the tasks at hand, DC is a hotbed of crazy work schedules and no time to decompress. It makes us wonder if we’re really cut out for a sustained period of time of non-stop work. Does this lifestyle make us resilient because we are battling time and its effects? If anything, it makes me put boundaries on my time. I used to answer my emails every day of the week, including holidays. Instead, I have a no email Saturday. I don’t look at my emails which means I don’t answer anything and continue the cycle of work. It’s a small step in reclaiming my time and the space that is thoroughly occupied with work. I enjoy what I do so it’s not really a complaint of that type of work, but more of an assessment that I need to be more well rounded. Less work time and less guilt and more time set aside to do things outside of work. It’s nice to have coffee with someone and not discuss work! How you take the time to become resilient is less about enduring the tasks at hand and more about how you give yourself the time and space to recharge.

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  • If you haven’t seen these photos about race and power among women, then you need to check it out immediately. Representation is so important as well as breaking racial stereotypes. The images are a starting point for a deeper and more complex conversation. What do you think about them flipping the script?

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Thanks for reading/sharing! Do you have a topic that you want me to cover? If so, leave me a comment below or on Facebook or drop me a note!

— Madalene